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Hope
When God spoke to me I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I left all the glitz and glamour and all the supposedly wonderful things. I started completely over, but with God in my heart this time.
Really, I wanted to die. I was doing all the things that were killing me anyway. I had so much pain, hurt, and hatred I didn’t know how to process any of it.
"I really wanted to call him and say, “I’m sorry for what I had done.” Months earlier if you’d asked me I wouldn’t have admitted to have done anything wrong."
At that point my brother and sister walked into the room, crying uncontrollably. At that moment I knew it was true.
I did the empty chair procedure. I asked my father all these questions. Then I was to get up and sit in the chair and answer the questions. This didn’t make a bit of sense to me but I did it.
I decided I was going to get up and I decided I was going to get in my car and drive up Glendora Mountain Road where teenagers would always drive drunk, and every few years someone would end up driving off a cliff.
I slept in the car one night with my newborn baby. That was one of those “God, why me” moments.
There was a lot of infidelity and secrets, and lies going on. It seemed like it was lies layered upon lies. I became what I thought to be a really good dentist with a really good practice.
One morning I woke up, and I turned on the TV, and the night prior to that I was watching an x-rated movie channel. When I woke up and turned on the TV it was on the 700 Club!